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The Lochdubh Tittle Tattler


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As Hamish Macbeth is so often in the news we have asked some guest correspondents to give their views on his character. Their articles are below but neither the editor or staff of The Lochdubh Tittle Tattler endorse their sentiments in any way.

Hamish Macbeth

by Malachi McBean

Minister of the Church of the Stony Path
Hamish MacBeth is the cause of the outbreak of lawlessness in this area. In the time of the man before the man before Hamish this was an area of law'n order yet he has turned it into a Gomorrah by his sinful ways.
He smokes who knows what with that so called Doc Brown, he fornicates outwith marriage (and admits it before my face), he drinks (even on a Sunday!!!), he cannot manage his finances and is always in trouble with his Bank Manager. Why, he often never has enough money to buy his accursed weeing dog (may it ever be infected with fleas) any food because he has spent all his money buying cases of Whisky in Inverness!
No wonder that he has been seen in the form of the horned one with his eyes blazing like green fire on the righteous and enlightened.

Hamish Macbeth

by Inspector Bruce

Northern Constabulary, Inverness
Hamish Macbeth has managed to keep the peace single handedly in Lochdubh for many years and has kept it as quiet as the grave. Or so he tells me. Certainly there is no minor crime but strangely Lochdubh has one of the highest murder rates per capita in the western world. And that's just the ones he reports. Still he does keep me supplied in Sea Trout so I'm not too bothered.


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